WHO ARE WE?
Bangalore Queer Tango (BQT) is a safe-space for queer, trans*, genderfluid, and non-binary persons looking to be part of a community that embraces each other in dance and with respect.
BQT, started in early 2023, is a space where members of the queer community in Bengaluru come together to learn tango, a dance form created by the immigrant and working class community in/around Buenos Aires, Argentina in the late 19th century.
Tango holds immense possibilities for us to express joy, love, melancholia and more emotions through music, while we hold another person in a safe embrace. We are working towards building a queer tango community that is anchored in queer visibility, expression and joy.
Our learning spaces, including our milongas, practicas and workshops, are usually exclusive for members of the queer community. We may open up some of these events to allies and such will be specifically mentioned in the event communication.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE PART OF BQT COMMUNITY?
BQT is a space that is driven by the spirit of community, while also holding space for individuality.
We believe that building a safe space for queer community in Tango requires continuous effort and care-work from each of its members so the community can feel assured that they will not be exposed to discrimination, harassment, and mental or physical harm; and in the event that they are, that all measures are taken to re-establish safety. We strive to work collectively to make each of our members feel safe, included and find comfort within BQT.
Tango is essentially about a musical conversation between two individuals, their bodies, and their emotions. There is never ONE way of expressing oneself. So, we constantly work towards maintaining the spirit of diversity at BQT by listening to each other and building sensitivity through Tango.
At BQT, we do not adhere to any gender norms when it comes to LEADING or FOLLOWING in Tango. We respect everyone’s choice to lead and/or follow as and when they prefer (it may be helpful to utilise feedback from the facilitator(s) though).
BQT CODE OF CONDUCT
PART 1 : FOR BQT MEMBERS
1. MUTUAL RESPECT: We encourage everyone to practice mutual respect towards each other in the BQT community. This includes respecting time, effort, feedback, and collective decisions that BQT may take from time to time. While expressing yourself at BQT and in giving/receiving feedback, let us strive to communicate with respect and kindness. We may give feedback to our dance partners only if/when they ask us. During milongas, we do not provide any feedback; we simply adjust with one another for the tanda and dance the night away!
2. LEAD/FOLLOW: We do not assume the tango roles of leading and following based on a person’s gender expression, physical appearance (tall/short), age or experience-level. Similarly, we do not advise or suggest somebody on what role they may be ‘good at’. This is the dancer’s own choice of expression and must be respected as it is. We also emphasize on using gender-neutral language while teaching, learning and dancing. For example, we do not assume that a leader is a man/he or a follower is a woman/she. We either use the terms ‘leader’ and ‘follower’ or use gender-neutral pronouns such as they/them.
3. PERSONAL HYGIENE: Tango being a close contact dance form, we encourage that every member maintain basic hygiene by using mints, hand sanitiser, deodorant etc. In case you have a mild flu/cold, we suggest you wear a mask while dancing with your partner.
4. CABECEO/MIRADA: Practice inviting someone to dance with through cabeceo/mirada (the eye contact) . If you are sensitive to offering/receiving eye contact, you can gently approach the person you want to dance with and politely ask them if they would like to dance with you. While inviting someone else to dance with you, respect the other person’s choice in case they turn your request down. Do not coerce or force the other person to dance with you (for leading or following).
5. ACCESSING SPACES OUTSIDE BQT: Since we are an emerging queer community within the larger tango community (in Bengaluru and other parts of India), we may need to interact with the larger tango community in order to grow (although this is in no way a yardstick to becoming a better dancer). And while some of us may feel comfortable/confident in accessing non-BQT spaces to learn/dance/perform/participate in tango, we should be mindful that many others may not feel the same sense of safety or comfort. In such situations, if anyone feels the need to create a support system (for example, going to these spaces in groups of 3-4 people or asking others to look out for them), BQT is open to making these accommodations via collective action. On the other hand, community members’ preferences to adhere to BQT spaces to learn and dance should be respected and not be met with any ableist judgements.
6. ADDRESSING DISCOMFORT: While dancing with your partner, at any point if you feel uncomfortable, unsafe or anxious, feel free to verbally communicate your discomfort to your partner or just leave the dance saying ‘thank you’. Please reach out to any one or more members of BQT to seek help, support or mediate confrontation, if need be. We will be holding quarterly meetings facilitated by our Safety Committee (refer to Part 3 in this doc) members to hold space for any emotional, physical, psychological distress, body experiences, and conversations around safety. All members of the community are welcome to attend these meetings and share their experiences.
7. CONTENT PRODUCTION: Any visual content, such as posters, captions, videos, audio, etc., being created and published on social media for BQT, should be carefully curated in order to not reinforce stereotypes related to gender expression, body image, role preferences and more. For example, images/photographs being used to promote a Milonga can avoid using the representative image of ‘an assertive figure of a man with a submissive figure of a woman’. We emphasize this because at BQT, we believe in working towards a more diverse and creative visual representation, rather than adhering to the norms created by heteronormative standards of aesthetics. BQT members are encouraged to point to any gaps that they may see from time to time.
PART 2: FOR ALLIES
BQT is primarily a space for queer-identifying folks to learn and dance tango within the community. However, we welcome allies into our space from time to time and we expect allies to be mindful about certain values and codes while accessing BQT spaces.
Maintain mutual respect with everyone, as dance partners and as individuals. This means NO creepy or disrespectful behaviour.
Gently ask a BQT member what pronouns they use and put an effort to use those pronouns while conversing with them/talking about them. Do not assume their pronouns by their physical appearance.
Asking intrusive questions (for example, “are you a lesbian/gay/bisexual, transperson?”) is a big NO NO at BQT. Respect everyone’s boundaries.
Assuming/commenting on another person’s gender/sexual orientation/class/religion/caste location from their attire, mannerism or dance is not allowed.
Homophobia in any form (comments, compliments, jokes, advice,physical touch, etc.) will NOT be tolerated.
Unsolicited feedback or comments while dancing are to be avoided.
Nourish the dance space by being gentle and accommodative of each other.
For Ally Instructors
If you are teaching at BQT, try using gender-neutral language for describing roles of leader/follower. For example, avoid using ”man/he” for a leader and “woman/she” for a follower. The use of “they” to describe a leader or follower is strongly encouraged not only for practical ease of usage but also to address the varied gender expressions of the typical class.
We expect our instructors to design their classes to accommodate different learning/ability levels and pace. It will be helpful if the instructor checks-in with the learners at a few points during the class to see if they are able to follow the instruction and if they need you to repeat or slow down or explain better.
Good practice for allies
Tango being a beautiful dance form, makes us want to convey to each other if/when we really enjoy dancing with each other. At such points, you can communicate this feeling through words. For example, if you want to tell someone that you enjoyed dancing with them, you can say—“Thank you for the dance. I enjoyed dancing with you.” or just a simple “Thank you” will suffice. Avoid any unnecessary physical touch to convey this to your dance partner.
At times, if there are any moments of discomfort between you and your partner, address the discomfort without sounding intrusive. For example, if at any point your partner is losing balance while dancing, avoid asking—“Should I hold you closer/tighter?”. Instead you could just say— “Are you okay? Let me know if you want me to be more careful/slow.”
While dancing, do not impose close embrace upon your partner (as leader or follower). You will sense if they are comfortable with a close embrace or not. Be sensitive to your partner and make the dance joyful for you both.
At BQT, we do not assume that all allies come informed about our values. So we welcome you to ask us questions without being intrusive, if at any point you have doubts about anything queer-related. We understand that Allyship is also a work in progress and we all need to be willing to open our hearts and minds to different ways of living in this society and world.
Part 3: BQT Safety Committee
The BQT Safety Committee currently consists of two members:
Santanu (they/he)
Vasvi (she/her)
At any point, if a BQT member experiences harassment or discomfort from anyone within the community, or outside of it (within the limits of dance space), they can reach out to the members of BQT Safety Committee. You can reach out to them either over email (bqtbox@gmail.com) or directly talk to one or more of them in person, expressing your discomfort and your expectations of redressal (if any). The Safety Committee members will communicate with you about the possible way forward.
The Safety Committee currently comprises two members from BQT who have volunteered to take up this position based on their experience: Santanu (they/he) and Vasvi (she/her). The Safety Committee is envisioned as a rotational post that changes every year.
In all safety proceedings, the member who has experienced discomfort/harassment will be referred to as: complainant, and the person against whom a complaint has been registered as: respondent.
Harassment comprises, but is not limited to, sexual harassment as defined under The Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace (Prevention, Prohibition and Redressal) Act, 2013:
“sexual harassment” includes any one or more of the following unwelcome acts or behavior (whether directly or by implication) namely:—
(i) physical contact and advances; or
(ii) a demand or request for sexual favours; or
(iii) making sexually coloured remarks; or
(iv) showing pornography; or
(v) any other unwelcome physical, verbal or non-verbal conduct of sexual nature
However, we would like to remind that discomfort or harassment is not limited to what is defined under the law above, and also includes physical/sexual violence and discrimination on the basis of caste, religion, gender identity and ableism.
NOTE: If a non-BQT member faces any concerns of safety or discomfort while accessing BQT space, they can also reach out to the members of BQT Safety Committee for grievance addressal either in person or by dropping an email to bqtbox@gmail.com
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This particular BQT document is a living document and will be reviewed at regular intervals so that it does not serve as a rigid punitive document. BQT is open to hearing suggestions and recommendations on the nature and contents of the document, its accessibility and expansion, in a way that ensures a safe-space for its members.
Resources:
This document has drawn inspiration from the following guidelines: